Thursday, November 20, 2008


It happened again tonight. I was tired and a bit grumbly. Started thinking about my own comfort, my own wants. How much work it takes to do the things God's called me to (like parenting!).

I want to retire. I even told God that. I want my own island and a stack of books. Good books. The kind you get lost in.

My own little self-absorbed paradise (with a cook and a maid) would suite me just fine.

Then God reminded me that when I'm thinking about my comfort and myself and what my needs are, I'll implode. Maybe not literally, but certainly spiritually.

God is outward, while selfishness is inward. Selfishness is opposite His kingdom and slowly kills us.

Walking His path, giving out of the gifts He's equipped us with, actually fills us. Paradoxically so.

Because we're not really giving out of our own resources. We're giving out of His. His living waters flow out of us, and yet fill us.

So while a tropical island filled with my favorite foods and books sounds delightful (heavenly, in fact) there is far more joy and fulfillment in traveling the path God's designed for me.

And I'm sure there's a few tropical R&R stops along the way.


  1. Is there anything more difficult than parenting? Is there anything that can make you feel more infinitely ill-equipped? Well, besides writing . . . :)
    Praise the Lord for his faithfulness and wisdom. Without it I couldn't have survived my own inadequacies.
    And, yes, at times island paradise sounds like the only viable solution.

  2. Yeah, writing and parenting. They fill us and drain us, don't they?! Couldn't do either without Him!

  3. Yes, island paradise sounds so wonderful right now...*she says as she shivers on the couch*

    Sometimes it is so difficult to be a mommy. I get like that when I finally sit down to write and am constantly asked questions. Hmmm, so are you still wondering why I'm visiting blogs in the middle of the night? ;-)

    Oh, get this! The word verification is PEESSE. LOL...don't we all want peace?

  4. I know! Every morning when I draaaag myself out of bed, I wonder, WHY DID I STAY UP SO LATE? But it's the peace and the quiet and the ability to think without anyone needing me. So I get why you're looking at blogs on the near side of midnight!