But it wasn't until I got a concerned note from my son's six grade teacher about a nose dive in missing assignments that I figured out what was going on.
We were nearing the six month anniversary of my father-in-law's death. According to grief experts it's a difficult milestone.
My reservoir was swinging toward empty but life's challenges didn't slow down to keep pace. They kept coming at full fury.
I wanted to pull over into an emotional rest stop. When I signed up to me a wife and mom, I forgot to ask about the vacation benefits (found out there's no sick pay either).
While the benefits of being a wife and mom far outweigh the challenges, those low spots can be pretty low and pretty lonely.
Quiet times can feel desolate.
It's easy to get caught up in emotional negativity. If I don't "feel" God near me, I could assume that I hadn't lived up to heavenly standards and he withdrew some of His love for me.
I know, if I hadn't been floundering in pain and defeat I'd have realized that is counter to everything Jesus said about our Father's heart.
But I'm learning a principle that I heard Graham Cooke speak about once: God is always present to our faith and occasionally we feel Him.
I love that. When life gets overwhelming, stand on what you know to be true.
God will never leave us nor forsake us. Amen!