Winning

Can you win and yet still lose? Or lose and still win?

This morning I was reading about the Pharisees and how they saw the Jews being drawn like moths to an eternal flame in the man of Jesus.

For the Pharisees and teachers of the law, it wasn't about finding the truth—whether Jesus was the Messiah. It was about keeping their power.

Being the ones the people looked to, envied, submitted to. They liked the adulation rather than being seekers and teachers of the truth, which is really what their position was about.

They were the ones who studied the Old Testament scriptures and were known for their superb knowledge. Yet rather than share this knowledge, they held it over the people and made it a noose around their necks.

So when people were drawn to Jesus like starving men to a buffet table, the Pharisees stared at the backs of the people as they walked away, rather than looking over their heads to see what they were moving toward.

John 12:19 states: Then the Pharissees said to each other, "We've lost. Look, the whole world has gone after him!"

How often do we worry more about what we are giving up in power and control, rather than what is best for us and those around us?

We focus outward rather than inward and upward. Blame rather than take responsibility. Allow life to happen and then resent the outcome rather than making choices and accepting the results.

It's easy to walk in fear and regret rather than to risk and accept.

I notice how often I put things off out of a fear that I won't do them "right." So rather than allowing those things to pile up, I'm taking chances, making choices. I now have a willingness to accept the outcome, whether it turns out well or not.

There is peace in that kind of acceptance, because I will be gentle with myself and applaud my willingness to choose, rather than berate myself for choosing wrongly.

Acceptance

My women's group is reading a great book called Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey, Ph.D. In it she describes a principle called, The Power of Acceptance—this moment is what it is.

That seems like a simple enough concept. I mean, you could translate it to say, "Live in reality, babe."

But, it also means letting go of the shoulds. And for a recovering perfectionist, that eliminates about half of my vocabulary on any given day.

I should have gotten up earlier. I should have ordered the salad instead of the pasta drenched in Alfredo sauce. I should have remembered to pick up the kids from my mother's…

Is it possible to truly live in the moment that is? Can I? I'd like the freedom of not wishing away what is or longing for what I think should be. I'd have a lot more mental energy.

Dr. Bailey explains (rough paraphrase) that when we accept how things are, peace follows, and we then have the ability to decide how we want life to flow from that point on.

The peace part is what I really like. Okay, so I didn't get my "to do" list completed, the kids didn't take out the trash, and the kitchen's a mess. . .

Deep breath . . . or two.

That is the reality of my moment. What do I want to do in my next moment?

I can clean or I can choose a bubble bath.

My old self would have worked long past bedtime to get things in order so the "should" sisters wouldn't follow me to bed with their incessant harping.

The new me, the one living in this now moment? I'll choose the bubble bath.