He's asking me to open my heart to Him. To really open my heart. No holding back that guarded five percent that I do with most people. My safety zone that I can hide in when I get fearful or uncertain.
He wants me naked and transparent in all my emotions. Not coming to Him after I've locked anger and resentment, or jealousy and envy back into that closet in my mind. The place I store all those ugly "not Christian enough" emotions.
That smoke and mirrors room that hides behind perfectionism.
He wants me to bring everything to Him. All the dirt and ugliness that I slog through. And I'm finding that incredibly difficult.
And terribly exciting.
There's that curl of anticipation, like when you find out that the boy you've had a crush on just might like you.
It's called HOPE.
Hope that God truly will embrace me when I stand near Him with the fruit of my fleshliness weighing me down.
Hope that the truth that I read in the Word about Him, will make that twelve inch drop from head to heart and flow into every part of my being.
Hope that I will truly begin to grasp the Nature and Goodness of the One who created ME.