Too big a job, too little time.
Then I reached a particularly tough section. I had no idea what to do. It was after midnight with my deadline looming, so I emailed an SOS to my prayer group and went to bed. Woke up early, completely exhausted after eight grueling weeks of these edits. I had difficulty formulating even a simple thought, but the novel was due the next day.
Sat down at the computer with my bowl of oatmeal and had a niggling idea. Started to work it in, and to my amazement it fit like a piece of a puzzle that had gone missing. In several spots the dialogue I had in place worked far better with this addition.
And in my fogged brain state of the night before I had added one line to a scene, not even sure why I was typing it in as it didn't really fit. But with the new plot dynamic, that line was the PERFECT finish to the scene.
I truly saw God going before me and setting things in place.
But sadly, just an hour later, I was back to fretting and worrying that I wouldn't be able to finish the edit well. I glanced out the window and saw a humming bird. Into my mind popped the verse about how God provides for the birds of the air.
It was one of those moments where God deposits an entire insight into your brain in a nanosecond. He showed me how often I had judged the Israelites for not trusting God in the wilderness when he so obviously provided for them. (Too many times I've wanted to rap them upside the head for thinking they were going to die of thirst in the desert when just the page before God had showered them with miracle after miracle to deliver them from slavery.)
And yet, just after he so obviously paved the way in my editing, I was right back to stewing and worrying about it. AND my issues were way smaller than survival (the Israelites lives were on the line).
God can do exceedingly, abundantly beyond what we can imagine. He's been showing me that he's faithful even when I'm not. He loves me when I'm unlovable.
He's always reaching for my hand. I'm determined to hold onto his.